Tizz, Boom, and 3-Martini Sound: The Lost Language of Stereo Obsessives

These days, we try and limit our doom-scrolling as much as possible, lest our brains explode from the pressure of it all. When we’re bored and trying to avoid the chaos — we dig. We roll through old hi-fi magazine PDFs, zooming in on brittle scans in search of weirdness, forgotten gear or some long-lost idea that never caught on. Sometimes it’s an ad promising “transcendent fidelity” from a receiver that looks like a spaceship control panel. Sometimes it’s a review where a writer loses his mind over a speaker’s “creamy midrange.” 

That’s where the real gold is — the lost language of hi-fi. A world where speakers could woof and tweet, silence could be blacker than black and a bad setup wasn’t just a mistake — it was stereo suicide. Some of these terms were marketing nonsense, and some were the sacred scripture of sound dudes. Here are twelve lost gems from the golden age of hi-fi.

Blacker Than Black
Describes the profound silence on high-quality vinyl or tape, suggesting a depth of silence beyond absolute black. Audiophiles cherished this quality, believing it allowed the music to ascend from an utterly silent background, enhancing dynamic range and detail.

Woof & Tweet
Slang for a basic two-way speaker system, referring to the woofer (low frequencies) and tweeter (high frequencies). This term highlighted the division of labor within speakers, with each driver handling a specific range to produce a cohesive sound.

Sonic Holography
A technique aimed at creating a three-dimensional soundstage by manipulating phase relationships, making speakers seem to vanish, leaving only the music. Pioneered by audio engineers, this gold-standard approach aimed to immerse listeners in a lifelike, deep experience. At its best, it felt like living inside the music—at its worst, it turned your favorite album into a weird, disembodied science experiment.

Tizz and Boom
A critique of audio systems that overemphasize treble (“tizz”) and bass (“boom”) frequencies, often at the expense of midrange clarity. Such set-ups might sound good initially but could lead to listener fatigue. It’s the sonic equivalent of dumping too much salt and sugar into a dish — immediately attention-grabbing, but ultimately overwhelming.

Wow & Flutter
Terms describing pitch instability in analog playback devices — and the name of a great Stereolab album. Wow refers to slow pitch variations, while flutter denotes rapid, subtle fluctuations. These flaws could detract from the listening experience, prompting listeners to seek gear with minimal wow and flutter.

Groove Burn
A term used by vinyl freaks to describe records that sound permanently distorted due to excessive wear. Often caused by heavy tracking force, a dull stylus, or repeated play on low-quality turntables, groove burn leaves behind a harsh, fuzzy residue in the sound—like the ghost of every past listen etched into the vinyl itself.

3-Martini Sound
A term from the ’50s and ’60s describing the warm, lush quality of tube amplifiers, suggesting that after a few martinis, the music sounds even more enveloping. This phrase captured the era’s blend of casual sophistication, appreciation for rich audio experiences and general drunkenness. These days, in fact, a better phrase than 3-martini sound might be Indica fidelity — or keef-coated bass?

Spitty Highs
A criticism of audio equipment that produces harsh or exaggerated treble frequencies, making vocals and cymbals sound piercing. Such “spitty highs” were to be avoided, as they could render music fatiguing. The effect was often blamed on bad cartridge alignment, cheap tweeters or wrongheaded EQ settings, and it was the sworn enemy of anyone chasing a smooth, natural top end.

The Loudness Button Conspiracy
A wry reference to the “loudness” button found on many vintage receivers, which boosts bass and treble at low volumes. Critics say it’s a marketing gimmick that alters the audio signal unnecessarily — we’re in this camp — while fans appreciate the enhanced sound at low listening levels. Either way, it’s been the cause of more than a few late-night debates — and pissed-off neighbors.

Stereo Suicide
Describes a setup with poor speaker placement or wiring, leading to a collapsed or muddled stereo image, effectively “killing” the effects of stereophonic recording. Avoiding “stereo suicide” was crucial for sound freaks aiming to preserve the “integrity” of their soundstage.

Reverse RIAA Curve
An experimental practice where some gear heads, armed with 31-band equalizers, attempted to negate the standard recording industry equalization applied during vinyl mastering, usually messing it up in the process. This OCD endeavor highlighted the wonkier side of audio reproduction and the potential pitfalls of tampering with established standards.

Head-in-a-Vise Imaging
A term mocking speaker setups with an extremely narrow sweet spot, where even slight head movements cause the stereo image to collapse. Such setups demanded listeners remain perfectly still to enjoy the full stereo effect, leading to a less relaxed and enjoyable experience.